This is the time of
year we typically think about giving gifts.
Generosity is both a spiritual principle (2 Corinthians 9:6-15), and a spiritual
gift (Romans 12:6-8). But generosity and
giving goes far beyond money and material things. In a healthy, Christ-centered marriage,
sacrificial giving is a part of your covenant relationship. It is not about making sure your mate
regularly gets elaborate or expensive gifts.
Rather, it is giving of yourself in order to bless your mate and bless
your union.
When you give sacrificially of yourself, a couple powerful things
happen.
- First, you build intimacy. Your time and your presence are the most powerful, precious resources that you have. They are the one thing that no one else can decide how you will use them, and no one else can give them for you. When you give those to your mate, you build an intimate oneness that is uniquely yours as a couple.
- Second, you build trust. When you give of yourself to your spouse, you open yourself up to a level of vulnerability —emotionally, socially, intellectually, spiritually, and physically— that should only be shared with your mate. You tell him/her “I am putting my whole being— the good, the bad, my fears, my joys, all of who I am —into your hands. I know you can hurt me, but I trust that you won’t.”
It’s always easier to be stingy, to withhold
and refuse to share. It can give the
illusion of being safe, being in control.
But the more you give to your mate, the more you will see the positive
benefits it brings to your marriage relationship, and the more it will lead you to an even
greater generosity. Blessings generate
more blessings.
When you
give, be careful not to let your giving become expectations of something in
return. If you only give for what you
expect to get back, that is not love, that is manipulation. Give.
Give to your mate. Give to your
mate freely and fully. Throughout the
Christmas season, and throughout your marriage, blessed are those who give.