I don’t know how other races are laid out, but at the Country Music Marathon in Nashville, TN, everyone starts out together and runs together for about 11 miles. Around 11 miles comes what I jokingly call “the stupid point.” That is the point where those who are running the half marathon split off from those who are running the full marathon. It is a point of choice and there are consequences for the choice you make. For those who do not weigh the consequences carefully, taking into account their physical condition, mental and emotional disposition, the environment around them, and their ability to endure, it can be a painful train wreck that takes a long time from which to recover.
In marriage, there is also a “stupid point.” It is the point where you are presented with a choice, and there will be consequences. Some choices can bring immediate gratification, but can be disastrous over the long haul. Other choices can be trying initially, but ultimately bring blessings and growth to a couple. The “stupid point” can appear in a variety of ways.
- He knows he is attracted to his assistant, and he can easily justify to his wife why he has to work several late nights with the assistant to complete an upcoming project.
- She thinks about taking out the third credit card that her husband knows nothing about, rationalizing ways she can move around money unnoticed in order to pay off her hidden debt.
- He had a stressful day at work, and things at home have only added to it. She asks the same question for the third time and he is more than ready to give her a piece of his mind to stop what he feels is her annoying badgering.
- Her parents are trying to insert themselves into her marriage again, and she knows it would be easier to just give in than to honor the boundaries she and her husband set together for family.
- His wife is gone on an overnight business trip and while he is at home alone, he finds himself drawn toward websites he knows he ought not visit.
- She knows all she has to do is say she is sorry and reach out for his hand, but she wonders if she can find it within herself to admit he was right.
Whether it is through pride, selfishness, unrealistic expectations of ourselves or our mates, overt or covert temptations, we are continually faced with “the stupid point.”
Please don’t think that I am calling anyone stupid personally. From time to time, we all make choices we wish we hadn't. I am simply saying at moments of choice, Satan will do whatever he can to drive a wedge between you and your spouse. So many times throughout the day, we come to a point of choice where we must decide if we are going to honor God and honor our spouses, or if we are going to let “stupid” take over and lead us down a path that creates strife and destroys trust. In your marriage, as choices present themselves, consider the options, weigh the consequences, and make the choice that will bless you and bless your mate.