Tuesday, January 29, 2013

20 Easy Steps to Destroying Your Marriage

If you really want to destroy your marriage, here are 20 easy steps:

  1. Leave God out (or at least relegate him to church stuff only).
  2. Don’t communicate.
  3. Don’t play together.
  4. Make your children the center of the family instead of your marriage.
  5. Expect perfection from your mate.
  6. Expect perfection from yourself.
  7. Withhold forgiveness.
  8. Don’t dream together.
  9. Find as much fault as you can with your spouse’s family.
  10. Make sure you spouse knows that your parents are still fully in charge of your life.
  11. Never be wrong about anything ever.
  12. Love your stuff more than you do your spouse.
  13. Withhold sex (especially to punish your spouse).
  14. Don’t be sympathetic when your spouse is hurting.
  15. Make your spouse feel stupid as often as you can.
  16. Laugh at your spouse often, but never laugh with your spouse.
  17. Live as independently of your mate as humanly possible.
  18. Consistently spend all your money irresponsibly.
  19. Remember, it’s always more important to win the argument than it is to nurture your relationship.
  20. Point out your spouse’s faults and imperfections as often as possible.

And if you’re really bound and determined to ruin your marriage, I bet you could add a few more things to this list...but please don’t.

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