Friday, April 26, 2013

Back to the Basics

     Any good coach knows that in any sport you must master the basics before you can move on to more advanced skills.  And it is not simply a matter of learning the fundamental skills once and then moving on.  The basic skills have to be practiced over and over until they are an automatic mental and physical response.  A coach also knows that even the most accomplished players have to constantly go back to the basics, reviewing and reminding themselves, because those basic skills are foundational to everything else that is built upon them.  If the basic skills begin to lapse, everything else will crumble around them.
     In marriage, the same thing applies. If we do not continually remind ourselves of the basic things that lead to healthy, godly relationships, then the relationship will suffer. Sometimes we just need to be reminded about:

  • clear, encouraging communication
  • constructive ways of handling conflict
  • forgiveness
  • the importance of being playful and having fun together
  • being selfless rather than selfish toward our spouses
  • the necessity of proactively avoiding temptations and being aware of the devil’s schemes to disrupt your marriage covenant
  • building real, lasting intimacy
  • and most importantly, making marriage a powerful witness to the goodness of God

Remember, if the basic components of a godly, healthy marriage are neglected, then the relationship can’t progress toward God’s calling for you and your spouse.
     What are some of the basics that you need to be revisiting to improve your relationship with your mate?

Is your church doing everything it can to help facilitate healthy marriages?  Are you sure?  The Marriage-Friendly Church is available now and gives you the questions every church needs to be asking.  Available at 21st Century Christian or on

If you are in the Middle Tennessee area, I will be presenting a session based on The Marriage-Friendly Church at the Caring Connections Conference, Friday, May 10, 2013 from 10:15 to 11:30 a.m.  Go to for more info and to register.  Be sure to mention that you heard about the conference here on The Marriage Blog.

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