Friday, January 31, 2014

Who's in the middle?

     Without a doubt, children change a couple’s experience of marriage. The role children play in the family structure can make or break a marriage. Children, by their very nature, are self-centered and demanding. Saying this does not diminish children as a precious gift from God or mean that you don’t have good children. It is just noting the truth of our fallen nature; a self-centered nature that even as adults we must continually struggle to control.
     Whether you have a new born baby or young children who are totally dependent on others for their livelihood, or you have tweens and teens who need consistent guidance and reassurancesraising children in a healthy way takes time, energy, and necessitates both parents' involvement.  Because children do demand attention, it is easy for a couple to allow a child to move into the center of the family, replacing the marriage as the foundational relationship of the family unit.

     If allowed to be the center of the family, the child will do everything he or she can do to maintain that position of prominence and power within the family structure. The child’s demands and priorities can quickly become all-consuming to the couple, even devouring their marriage and their faith if they are not careful.
     Certainly, we don't want or need to ignore our children.  After all, God entrusted them to us so that we can return them to Him.  But the greatest blessing a child can ever receive is to see a parent loving his or her spouse in a godly way and putting their marriage first.
     What relationship is at the center of your family? If it isn’t your marriage, something is out of balance.


Walking Together in Eden:
Finding Paradise in a Broken World

A Weekend Marriage Enrichment Retreat

Friday-Sunday, March 7-9, 2014

Edgewater at the Aquarium Hotel and Conference Center
Gatlinburg, TN

Limited to 30 couples

(Spots open for only two more couples)
Email for more info

Know someone interested in creating or working on a
powerful marriage ministry, but they don't know where to start?  The Marriage-Friendly Church is available now and gives you the questions every church needs to be asking.  Available at 21st Century Christian or on

Top picture Image credit: <a href=''>justmeyo / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

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