Friday, February 14, 2014

More than just one day

     Today is Valentine’s Day, and while it's great to pursue romance for a day, real intimacy and connection needs to be a continually part of your relationship.  I want to re-share a suggestion for a gift for your spouse that I shared last year around Valentine's Day.  It won’t cost you much and can keep on giving for weeks, months, and even years beyond a single holiday.  (This isn’t just tied to Valentine’s Day.  It can be done anytime of the year.)
     First, make a list of one hundred things you love about your spouse.  Yes, one hundred.  They can be big things, little things, daily things, special things, intimate things, ways your spouse blesses your life—whatever you can think of.  Just be specific so that there's no question about what you're referring to and why that reason makes you love your spouse more.
     Then, buy 100 blank business cards and a business card holder that can hold 100 cards.  You can get these supplies at Wal-Mart, Target, or any office supply store, and your total investment should be about $20 or less.
     Next, print the reasons you love your spouse on the cards, one reason per card, and be sure to number the cards 1 of 100, 2 of 100, etc.
     Then, hide all of the cards (except the first one) around the house in places that match the reason you’re stating for loving your spouse.  For instance, if you have a card that says, “I love you because you always fix great meals,” you could put that card in the pantry.
If you have a card that says, “I love you because you’re a great kisser,” you might place that card where she keeps her lipstick
If you have a card that says, I love you because I always have clean clothes, you could leave that one with the laundry supplies.
Or if you have a card that says, “I love you because you always pray with me,” you might tuck that card in his Bible. 
And where you hide the cards can be as creative as under the pillow, to your mate's underwear drawer, to the steering wheel of his/her car, to the bathroom mirror, to taping it to the ceiling above your spouse's spot in the bed.  You get the idea.
     Finally, give your spouse the card holder with the first card already in it.  Let your spouse know you really love him/her and that over the next several days or weeks (or however long it takes) he/she will be reminded of those reasons as new cards are discovered.  (The x of 100 numbering on the cards will let your spouse know how many total cards he/she is looking for, and help track how many cards are still out there to be discovered.)  Eventually, your mate will have a card holder full of expressions of your love for him/her.  This will be something your spouse can continually go back to, to remind him/her of your adoration and your commitment to your marriage covenant. 
     Encouragement is a powerful tool for keeping a marriage strong and keeping intimacy alive.  For just a couple of hours of time and effort, you can say something positive to your mate for years to come.


Know someone interested in creating or working on a powerful marriage ministry, but they don't know where to start?  The Marriage-Friendly Church is available now and gives you the questions every church needs to be asking.  Available at 21st Century Christian or on

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