A few weeks ago, I blogged on choices. In the post, I noted that “every choice shapes our character, our integrity, and our relationship to our spouses. Every choice says something about the way I feel about my mate. Every choice conveys some level of honor and commitment to my marriage covenant. Every choice acknowledges or denies God’s presence in my marriage.”
It’s easy to focus on the negative choices in marriage because they are the ones that cause ripples, hurt feelings, and usually tend to linger on in our minds. But the positive choices—both the big decisions and the little daily things we do to honor our spouses—create an ongoing environment of love, honor, commitment, and respect. It is in those moments that we become the presence of Christ for our mates.
While big, positive decisions can certainly make a lasting impact, many times the little positive choices—the "good, better, best" daily decisions—build a strong marriage environment. Things like:
- Remembering to regularly say “thank you” so that you won’t be tempted to take your mate for granted
- A hug, a kiss, or a gentle touch when needed
- Praying with your spouse every single day
- Bringing your spouse a cold cup of water when he/she is out mowing the yard
- Letting your spouse see you be an involved parent
- Putting away technology to focus on conversation
- Listening attentively
- Responding rather than ignoring it when you notice your mate has had a bad day
- Saying something encouraging to your mate when your tempted to say something critical
- Fixing a favorite meal or dessert for your spouse
- Saying “I love you” regularly
- Asking your mate where he/she wants to go or what he/she wants to do rather than just making all the decisions on your own
That’s just a dozen simple things. There are an infinite number of other things you can add to this list. The point is, when you conscientiously and consistently make decisions to bless your spouse, you create an ongoing environment of healthy marriage and positive communication. When your mate reflects on the choices you make, let the positive choices be an overwhelming flood of goodness that immediately comes to his/her mind.
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