I am a lifelong nail biter, but I gave it up for Lent. Now, in last post (which you can read here), I
recommended that for Lent couples do something together, something for the
benefit of their marriage and their joint participation in the Kingdom of
God. Giving up biting my nails is for my
marriage and is for my participation with Lisa in the Kingdom of God, and
here’s why.
I’m a compulsive nail biter. I bite my nails without thinking. I don’t do it out of nervousness, or
anxiety. I do it out of boredom;
something to fill the time. But I’ve
done it out of boredom for so long that I do it without even thinking about it. I normally don’t even realize I’m doing it,
until someone points it out.
So, if I bite my nails habitually, without even really realizing I’m
doing it, what other things am I doing without a second thought? Do I say things to Lisa without thinking
about what I’m really saying? Do I do
things “just because,” and never realize the impact those actions (no matter
how great or how small) are having on my wife, or on our pursuit of God in our
relationship? Do I allow myself to be
content with what we do together in the Kingdom of God because it’s easier to
do so than it is to challenge us to break out of our comfort zone and trust
God?
Not biting my nails is about intentionality. Right now, it is actually harder for me to
not bite my nails than it is to bite them.
I constantly catch myself moving my hand toward my mouth, and I have to stop
myself from going through a rote action that really doesn’t help or bless me in
any way. I have to recognize I can’t bite
my nails because, “that’s just what I do.”
I have to stop making excuses, justifying, and rationalizing why it’s
easier to not worry about biting my nails.
There has to be more of a purpose to my thoughts and actions than
that. And I want that same sense of
purpose, dedication to being intentional, and thoughtfulness to affect even the
most miniscule areas of my marriage—no matter how seemingly inconsequential.
If you’re a nail biter, I’m not getting on to you, or telling you that
you have to quit. This may not be your
avenue to a better marriage and better service in the Kingdom of God. But for me, over the 40 days of Lent, it’s a
way to “take captive every thought” (2 Cor. 10:5) so that I can be more
intentional in blessing my wife and more intentional to awakening myself to God’s
call for our marriage.
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