The primary calling of all Christians is to love God with all our hearts, souls
and minds. (Matthew 22:37-38) Part of loving someone is showing
gratitude. Undoubtedly, we owe thanks to God. But there is a reason
that when Jesus was asked for the greatest commandment, he also gave the second
greatest commandment, love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew
22:39) Our love for God is fully lived out and manifested in how we love
our fellow humans who are the image bearers of God, and you won’t find a
closer, more intimate neighbor than your spouse. So, just as part of
loving God is expressing gratitude, part of loving your
spouse is expressing gratitude—not
out of obligation, but out of a deep love for your mate and the way
he/she completes you, enhances your life, and draws you closer to God.
Sometimes it is harder to show gratitude to your mate than it is to show
gratitude to God. Why? Well, at least in a physical sense, God
doesn’t get in your face, offend you, or otherwise give you grief. God
hasn’t hurt you in the past. God doesn’t have human flaws that you are so
keenly aware of each and every day. Your mate does.
Yet, when you show gratitude to your spouse (who is just as broken and
imperfect as you are) you demonstrate God’s love, grace, mercy, and goodness at
work in immeasurably powerful ways. In an intimate marriage relationship, gratitude creates,
conveys, and maintains an environment of value, trust, and partnership.
So, with that in mind, how attentive are you to showing your love for your mate
through gratitude? When was the last time you spoke words of appreciation
to your wife or husband? Do you remember to say “thank you” for the simple
daily things that your mate does for you to make life better—things like
preparing meals, laundry, filling the car up with gas, being a great mom or dad
for the kids. While those things might be your spouse’s “job,” remember
how much he/she blesses your life by doing them. Do you thank your spouse
for special things he/she does for you, or when he/she gives you that extra
attention or goes the extra mile?
As we move though this season of giving and thanksgiving, keep a journal of
things you spouse does for which you are thankful; everything from regular
tasks to special efforts he/she makes for your sake. If you pay
attention, it shouldn’t take too long to fill up page after page of things you
mate does for you. After you fill it up, take the journal and give it to
your mate as a gift; a visible reminder to both of you of your gratitude for
the many things he/she does for you. Let your gratitude be a
manifestation of your love. If you start your journal now, you should
have a really nice surprise for your wife or husband by Christmas.
You're right about how important it is to show gratitude to your spouse to have a good marriage. Asking whether you've been showing love for your spouse through gratitude and whether you're speaking words of appreciation on a regular basis seems like a great place to start in evaluating this in your marriage. If you express more words of gratitude to your spouse, then they're more likely to do the same, and that will improve your relationship by making you both feel more appreciated. Thanks for the tips!
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