When I was in college, I missed a couple of weeks of a history class. It’s not that I didn’t want to go to class. I actually literally forgot that I had a class. For those two weeks, I left the preceding class thinking in my gut that I was supposed to be somewhere, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t remember where. So, I went back to my dorm room and took a nap. When it finally clicked with me, I immediately got back into the class (and managed to still pull out an A for the course).
Memory can be a very tricky thing. Often memory is selective, reinforcing a perspective we already have begun to develop. That can be a very good thing if we choose to have a positive perspective, but if we’re not careful, it can become a destructive thing. Memory is a powerful indicator of love, priorities, a Christ-like character, and how powerfully the Holy Spirit is active within a couple’s lives. After all, we talk frequently and passionately about what we love and what is important to us. Memories are built through big events in couple's lives, but also through regular daily activities that intimately connect husband and wife.
What drew you together and made you fall in love with each other? Were there difficult times but you still renewed your commitment to not give up on each other? What are the memories that make you cry? That make you laugh? That make you want to honor your covenant marriage vows? As you and your spouse reflect on your story together, what were the defining moments—memories that allow you to keep falling in love over and over again? As you continue to write your story together, what are the things you need to do to build powerful memories—memories that speak of cherishing your mate, freely extending forgiveness, building intimacy, and always being a place of safety and blessing and encouragement for each other?
If you’ve “forgotten” your marriage, if you’ve let other things distract you from what’s really important, it’s time to immediately return to your mate, figure out what you need to do, and remember.